my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I want to make a zoo with you.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
