i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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