She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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