I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
