Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
