So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
