Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
