His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
