If i come over, it means nothing
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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