Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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