Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
