My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
not ubering you a puppy
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
