The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I want to have your abortion
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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