That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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