Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
