**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
