Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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