Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
