i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
