i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
