if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
