I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
