By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
