Yo dont text me then not text me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize