id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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