make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
