I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
