I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize