A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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