Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
