pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
