She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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