Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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