Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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