he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
