batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
