I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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