I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
