Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
