But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
