found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
we're so committed to being not committed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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