im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
