I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
