Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
