Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
