Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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