ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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