Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
