do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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