so that wasnt chicken after all
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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