Sponge bath it is.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
