What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
