she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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