I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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