i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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