Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
