At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
