i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
