new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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