whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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