Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize