Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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