So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
40s are totally the cure
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
