Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize