Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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