I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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