I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
did you just send me my own nude
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
