I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
