Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
